I'm tired. I always feel like writing when I'm tired, then I wake up five hours later with the lights still on and ink smeared on my pillow.

I had a rush of happiness a few days ago and I'm trying to recapture that feeling. I read somewhere that good things happen to people who write down all the good things that happen to them. I would like to start doing that, but whenever I begin a writing endeavor, I feel like I have to buy a new journal, and I don't have enough money or room for a new journal right now. So I'll put some things here, for now. I've felt particularly lucky these past few weeks. Finding Tina at Animal Control has brought me the most happiness. Then the little things: acing school, my warm bed on cold mornings, finally finishing my departmental application for graduate school. Drawing check marks inside of my planner. Andy, the only person that understands and can relate to the things that go on inside my head and my heart. Sometimes I devote so much of myself to caring about him that I forget to notice how he cares for me. Then I open my eyes and soak it in and it feels nice, in a selfish way, I know.

I've learned the key to happiness:
Take an anti-depressant and after a month of numbness, get off of it without weaning. I'm not kidding. You have no idea how great feelings of all kinds are until you lose all of them completely. Like having a beer after not drinking for months.